Monday, April 10, 2006

Four Day Weeks ROCK!!!

Shane said : "It's a good thing you don't have to drive that daily... in 'BAD' weather Nancy!!" Shane, no I could not drive that daily in 'BAD' weather, and not even in splendid weather hah. I absolutely hate driving. I really do. I despise driving on a snowy or rainy day and I hate driving on a perfectly dry sunny day too. More specifically I hate OTHER people's driving. I would love to drive if there weren't so many idiots on the road. I'll be driving without incident for 3 months then feel all confident again, then something happens to make me paranoid of other drivers again.

Like 2 weeks ago a van hauling a little trailer was driving in the left lane. I was in the right lane trying to get in and out of his blind spot as fast as I could. I always do that. Why don't people care about the blind spot ? I was driving in my lane, almost aligned with his passenger window when I notice he's coming towards me more and more. I'm trying to tell myself that it's just my imagination, I'm just being paranoid... closer... closer... HOLY SHIT! He's merging on my ass!! I just had enough time to slam my brake and he just merged, *THIS* close to hitting my front bumper. Ugh I was so friggin furious.

Not only do I have "The fear of being merged onto", I also have "The horn phobia". Whenever I'm in a situation that justifies blowing the car horn, I freeze and I react to the road situation but I can't for the life of me blow the horn. I think about blowing the horn when it's too late. I don't even know if the horn has been blown on our car since we bought it. Seriously. I'm affraid of offending people with my horn blowing. I know I certainly panic when someone blows their horn at me. What? What did I do ? It wasn't me ! I swear!

This morning I was driving to work and there were cars in all other 3 lanes on Champlain, and there was a huge white plastic bag right smack in the middle of my lane. (I'm starting to think that my phobia is lane induced.) Every time I see a plastic bag in the road I remember this story that one of my father's friends was telling him when I was a little girl, about how he had driven over a plastic bag and he didn't think much of it and then later the plastic bag had melted underneath his car and caused problems. I had to drive over the plastic bag, I had no other choice. But I always fear the plastic bags and nothing ever happens. It's just my paranoia. So I took a deep breath and drove over the bag. Wouldn't you know the effing thing stuck underneath my car and was making a really loud flapping sound while I was driving. I don't know if the bag got unstuck or if it melted, but at some point the flapping faded out. When I got to work I looked underneath the car the best that I could without ruining my clothes and I didn't see the bag. WTF Ever.

You might be telling yourself that driving over plastic bags and the fear of being merged onto isn't that bad. iVillage girls will probably remember this. June 2004, we were driving back from PEI. We were on the 4 lanes, there were cars in the lane beside us, and behind us, we were all going a tad bit over the limit, when with horror we saw a mother duck crossing the highway with 5 baby ducklings. It was the first time in my life that I saw such a cute and large duck family crossing a road. For a split second Steph braked but then realized that if he stopped we would get rear-ended. It was the ducks or us. He had no choice but to drive over the ducky family. We felt and heart "thump-thump-thu-thu-thump" under our feet. :-S We looked in the rearview mirror to see a huge cloud of feathers. I was completely horrified. I was holding my face with my two hands when I noticed the car in the right lane was laughing hysterically. Ugh! I decided to call my dad who's been a trucker all his life, for 34 years. Surely he has run over a few cute and furry families in his carreer. He said "Skunks, porcupines, but nothing as cute as a ducky family".

So yeah, I hate driving and I have ducky family, merging onto and car horn phobias.

Speaking of animals where they shouldn't be... what's up with the TWO mooses in town this morning ? hah! I heard on the radio that there was a moose on Vaughn Harvey Blvd. and one going on St-George st. Maybe they're sitting by my car outside, waiting for me. A few years back there was a parking lot full of Mooses that were licking the parked cars. It was winter and they were licking the salt off the cars hehe. When I was in University at UMCS there was a moose on the friggin docks. I guess I'd prefer hiting a cute ducky family than a friggin moose if I had the choice.

Steph still has the flu from hell. Last night I was really really nauseous but I didn't know if I was really catching the flu too or it was just from helping Steph clean up his vomit explosion off the walls, pantry, floors etc etc. (Hope you're not reading this while eating :P) Thankfully I'm feeling better today. I don't want that bad flu. Especially not for the 4 day weekend. Well... Steph did lose 10lbs being sick.

Well, I have to go for now, stay tuned for "Nancy and Stephane go Vegetarian for a week".


Shane said...

I am honored to be the first word on your blog. : )

Shane said...

Can we call you the 'Bag Lady' now? Or would that be rude?



Scatterbrain said...

Bag lady because she ran over a bag? hahaha.

Nancy, one time I drove over a plastic bag with my car and it got stuck on the muffler and melted and it stunk for months, months I tell you. So your bag running over fears are legitimate