Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Sunked in Despondency...

Warning : The following blog entry contains some scenes of pathetic low spirited whining. Reader discretion is advised.

I can't seem to shake this feeling of despair. Even listening to my favorite launchcast station isn't helping whatsoever. Granted, my favorite "1990's Alternative" hits aren't particularly known for uplifting spirits. In fact, didn't some parents blame Nirvana way back when for their son's suicide ? Ah goody, Stome Temple Pilots are on.

And I feel, so much depends on the weather
So is it raining in your bedroom?
And I see, that these are the eyes of disarray
Would you even care?

A blanket of snow has covered my perfectly snowless January landscape. The Conservative Party won the canadian elections with a minority government. Our Conservative candidate in the Beausejour circonscription was defeated by the Liberal Dominic LeBlanc. Moncton-Riverview-Dieppe's Liberal Brian Murphy defeated Conservative Charles Doucet. The scale went UP 1.8lbs since yesterday morning. WtF! I KNOW. I KNOW I can't possibly have gained 2 real pounds, since there is absolutely no possibility that I ate 3500 calories x 2. In fact I track everything that enters my piehole. If a fly flew into my mouth I'd add it in Fitday. One of the provincial committees I work for, as part of my job, is driving me absolutely completely mad. I really didn't get enough sleep last night because I stayed up too late watching the election coverage. And The Bachelor *blush*. Am I the only one who finds that the bachelor is an absolute hunk ? I've always found the previous bachelors (that I've seen, not that many) arrogant, cheesy, ugly even.

Please die ana
For as long as you’re here we’re not
You make the sound of laughter
And sharpened nails seem softer

Maybe I should switch to a more uplifting station. However, I doubt polka hits or the folk station would do much for my mood. I know some of you are preparing to comment that "Weight Loss takes time, be patient, weight loss isn't a linear thing, your body needs time to adjust" and all those good intended words of advice. I know all that... it's just that I've been stuck at the same weight more or less for a week now. At my weight the amount of calories I eat daily SHOULD allow me to me lose something each week. I just want the numbers to reflect my hard work. I want validation. I want to SEE progress.

I'm not even sure how I feel about the minority Tory government. Yes I voted for the conservative candidate in my circonscription, I admit, mostly because he is a good friend of dh's family. I'm sad he lost. He's a respected member of the circonscription, formerly elected during the Hatfield government. I'm pretty sure that I'm happy Paul Martin's Liberals didn't win. Our new Prime Minister Harper publicly said in the past that the Atlantic provinces (us) were a failure. He later apologized, but, you know... it's a pretty bold statement to take back.

Enough whining. It does feel better after writing it all down. Well mostly anyways. (I'm still not sure wether my brother continued reading this or not.Brian if you're reading this comment so that I know you're reading, otherwise I will blog in lenght about Steph's penis and other things I'm sure you don't want to know.) After writing it all down and thinking about it more rationally, it doesn't seem as overwhelming anymore. I guess this is the whole point of this blog isn't it ?

2 comments:

Heather said...

Nancy - I've thought several times over the past couple of weeks how PROUD I am of you for sticking with this. I *know* it's not easy to make major life changes like this, especially without seeing results.

You know, I still weigh myself almost daily, but when I first started trying to lose weight, we didn't have a scale. I honestly think that helped me - I was *stunned* when I finally got back on a scale and found that I'd lost 15 pounds - and that gave me the motivation to stick with it and lose the rest. What if you had Steph hide the scale from you for a few weeks?

You *can* do this - I KNOW you can. And I will help in ANY WAY that I can. I don't mean that to be trite, either.... even if you just want to bitch at me how much you hate broccoli or whatever!

As for the chiro... I've been going for almost a year now. That, along with yoga, has made a *huge* difference with my back pain. I have mild scoliosis, so I've always had trouble when my back is unsupported, like when I'm playing piano, sitting on a bench, or carrying things like laundry. I can notice a difference within a few days when I haven't gone to the chiro and/or done yoga.

I did go to a really crappy chiro back in college, and that didn't make any difference in my back pain. My current chiro is an amazing doctor, as well as a spectacular woman, and I *so* look forward to my visits there.

Hobby Chef said...

I totally agree with Heather. I know how hard it is to get on the scale and see the same ... old ... thing. When I finally decided to start Weight Watchers, I went 2 weeks without weighing myself - I was scared that I wouldn't see a change. Or worse, that I would see a change, and it would be a gain! Getting on the scale after two weeks and seeing a loss really bolstered my spirits and kept me committed.

And, just like Heather said, I am SO PROUD of you for sticking with this!!! You can DO IT!!! And I, too, am here to help in any way I can.

HUGS