Today, I feel like I've began to feel that thin but pesky depression veil lift. I honnestly hadn't even considered it's existence in my life. Perhaps I had mistaken depression for a married (broke) couple's routine? Are there other married people out there who think that they're stuck in a rut, but are really just a tad depressed?
What has made me happy again and restored my mana? Friends and family, I think. Seriously, how total cornball does that sound? But it's true. In January when my grandmother passed away, we drove up home for her funeral. It had been 2 years at least since our last trip up home. It's embarrassing to realize and admit. Life just gets in the way. I mean, when you get sucked into your work-eat-shit-sleep-clean--REPEAT routine, and that you become convinced that THAT is life. You begin to think that spending time with your friends and your family is a luxury. My daiy coffees are also a luxury; a financial luxury. Somehow, it's sadly often easier to sacrifice time luxuries rather than financial luxuries. Credit card debt, anyone?
I hadn't seen my uncles, aunts and cousins since our wedding in June 2003. Shameful. Since the funeral, we have been talking online on a weekly basis! How cool is it that we are living in our generation? Then we went to the Blue Carpet Treatment VIP Snoop Dogg concert with some of Steph's coworkers and their spouses. We had a friggin Blast!! I mean, when normally the highlight of your week is on Sunday night when you're finally done washing all your laundry... 5 minutes before bed time. That's when it started to happen. Around 7h30pm, on January 31st 2007, in a freakin' stretched limousine driving around Moncton. It felt so unreal. So unreal. Lik an out of coolness bracket experience. As opposed to an out of body experience.
Two weeks ago, we went over to Tina and Shane's for a small party. We met Sophie and Tim for the first time. I was already considering Sophie a good friend by then, as we had been talking online on a regular basis for months by then. Thankfully, we get along as well in person as online. Especially considering my crippling shyness. Well it helps that both times that we hung out in person so far involved alcohol... heh Last night, Sophie and Tim invited us to attend Tim's birthday party in the Blue Room at Dooly's. (Is Blue my lucky color in 2007? That would be great because blue is my favorite colour. Well besides black which is in theory lack of... ) After the mandatory first 10 minutes of total awkwardness/shyness... OR is it the mandatory wait time before alcohol kicks in? Anyway, after that it was fine! It was fun! We immediately felt at ease in that friendly group of people. Although everyone was so good looking, it felt like an out of beauty bracket experience.
Or are we just getting more wealthy and better looking? And that we'll just have to get used to it? LOL Hmmm.
Today, Steph's parents called to say that they were on their way for a surprise visit. Surprise! At first I got all nasty with Steph and began whining about having to spend 4 precious Sunday hours cleaning and getting the house and making it perfect for the never-ending daughter in law's quest for signs of their mother in law's approval. My wonderful husband immediately began helping me around the house and I apparently got a burst of energy because I went all gung ho on his ass. We're talking even taking out the nice bedding and putting it on our bed and removing it and replacing it with our mismatched favorite blanket as soon as they leave. We also planted our seeds! I can't wait for them to sprout! I feel like an expecting mother.. expecting sprouts. lol. Again, after a few minutes we were flapping our pie holes joyously. We ordered St-Hubert chicken and salad. No fries, we were good
Not long after they left, all of a sudden, it hit me how happy I am. I feel like although I'm jam-packing my weekends with activities and to-do lists, they seem like they last 3 times longer. All of a sudden, although my house needs a few fix-ups, it looks beautiful to me again. Instead of feeling drained after having cleaned like a maniac daughter in law for 4 hours, I feel proud of what I have accomplished this weekend.
I don't know why, but I'm writing this on paper, by hand. Obviously if you're reading this, I've decided to type and blog it hehe. I guess I don't really have a conclusion... it was just my weekend in ramblings :)