Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Is Ronald trying to fool me ?

So I went shopping at Costco during my lunch hour. I have almost never had a hypoglycemic episode (low blood sugar) in my life. My problem has always been hyperglycemia. Until today. I was walking in the huge aisles and I started to feel weak. It's probably just normal hunger. So I continued shopping. When I got to the cereal aisle, I began shaking and feeling really woozy and dizzy. Uh oh. Two big old ladies were shopping side by side with their oversized carts blocking the aisle, and I was panicking. What if I friggin faint in the middle of Costco ? It'd be just my luck, the day that I'm wearing a flowy skirt, it would probably fly over my head in the process. Hmm I have a Nature Valley bar in my purse... I could eat that, but would security guards come running towards me accusing me of theft ? That would be so embarrassing I'd probably faint anyway. A piece of gum ? Darn it's sugar-free.

I ended up making my way to the cash registers with my WW cereal and my Nestle flavored water bottles. I must have looked like an addict who couldn't wait to her car to get her fix of flavored water. There's a fast food stand after the cash registers! Crap, there's 42 persons waiting in line for their greasy goodness. Then near the door I spotted vending machines. Perfect! I payed way too much for a bottle of Orange juice and chugged it down right there in front of the vending machine. Some old guy stared at me. I didn't care, it was either that or the underwear flashing fainting. Thankfully by the time I sat in the car I felt much much better. But I needed food intake, now. Superstore is close, but what if a lot of people are in line and I feel woozy again? So I drove to McD's drive-thru.

OOoooOOOoo how I longed for a Bic Mac Combo. Then I remembered that the whole wheat turkey BLT toasted deli sandwich is pretty good. It said you could trade your fries for a side salad. perfect! Wow, Thanks McDonalds for making an effort to serve your health conscious customers. So I proudly ordered my not-too-bad emergency meal. I drove up to the window and the squeaky bored looking teenager informed me that they were out of side salads right now. GAH! Fine I said. He hands me my meal and I drive off to a far away lonely parking spot to eat my meal like a hobo. I open the bag.... ACK!! FRIES!!! You'll be glad to know that I ate the deli sandwich and closed the bag shut and pretended the fries were not there.

Mid-sandwich I felt normal again. (Like a normal slug, as opposed to a fainting slug.) I drove back to work and I left the fries in the bag in the passenger seat. The battle is not over though, because as you know McDonalds fries can't chemically go bad. It's so hot outside that they'll still be warm and toasty by the time I'm done work. I have fries waiting to attack me on the drive home. Maybe I should bring a bottle of white glue with me when I leave work, to attack them back if need be.

As soon as I got back I went on McDonalds.ca to verify the damage. Hmm not too bad! The sandwich, which is delicious I might add, is 490 calories. I'll keep that in mind the next time my sabotaging family gang up on me and want to go to McDonalds. It's really better than any burger there I swear. But wait.... My Diet Coke was 2 calories.... my deli sandwich was 490 calories... McDonalds tells me that in total I consumed 490 calories! It's trying to fool me!!! Two whole calories!!!! :P What if someone were to calculate a big huge pig out meal, would McD try to fool them into thinking that they had eaten less calories than they have ? I'm not going to try it on their calculator in case just reading about all the fast food tempts me :P

1 comment:

Hobby Chef said...

You make me laugh, Nancy ... I also ate my lunch in my car hobo-style. I actually do it all the time, just to get the hell out of the office for a while.