Laziness is hazardous

This morning dh had his nickers in a knot on the premise that he had to be at work before 8h30 because he had a meeting with 2 blokes. (I just finished reading "Sushi for beginners", I'm still thinking with a british accent.) The weather is absolutely dreadful this morning. Wet snow/slush is falling from the grey skies. It's so depressing. I had to take out my winter boots yet again. ugh. When we got outside to leave for work, the car was covered in slush. DH starts to wipe it off with his coat sleeve, instead of making the effort to take the snowbroom out of the trunk. I tell him that it wouldn't take longer with the broom, and that he'll have a wet sleeve. He shrugs it off and tells me to hurry up and get in the car. We back out of the driveway and he tries to stealthily roll the window down and throw out a ball of snow from his pocket.

Because of his half assed job de-snowing the car, there was a clump of wet snow sitting on the bottom of the windshield just so that the wiper didn't rest properly in it's usual down position. I told dh that as soon as we get to his office, he has to remove the snow clump. By the time we turned on the street where his office is, the wiper was beginning to act funny. It was going further than the windshield and wiping in the air. As soon as I complained about it, the wiper did a funky move and wiped until it was twisted and rested on my driver's side window. The oncoming truck driver was laughing so hard he almost crashed into us. I continue driving with the embarrassingly weird wiper until we get to his work.

Dh gets out of the car and removes the clump of snow and of course, the wiper's motor protection thingy had kicked in and how it works is the nut gets all loose and the wiper won't wipe properly until it's tightened back with the proper tools. Dh and tools don't really belong together. Of course the last time it happened he didn't put a wrench in the trunk for the next eventuality. There were only a couple of other cars in the parking lot and of course dh was too shy or macho to go ask them for a wrench. I tell him that all this wouldn't have happened if he had properly wiped all the snow off the windshield with the snowbroom. He replies "blah blah blah. What do you want me to do about it?". WHAT? What do you want ME! to do about it ? he replies "I dunno, what do you want ME to do about it?" Ugh this is going nowhere.

Another lad is dropped off by his wife and comes over to investigate. He tells dh that he could go ask a techie for a pair of plyers or something. Dh says that the night techs leave at 6am and the day tech who is supposed to come in at 7am, isn't here yet and only arrives when he feels like it. ARGH! The lad shrugs and goes inside. Dh looks at me with a blank face. I tell him "Try the cable jumpers. Maybe you can use the clamp to tighten the nut". Great idea! Dh gave it a try and then demonstrated the newly bent and distorted clamp. He has to go in or he'll be late. Fine. Let your wife drive to work with a non-working driver's side wiper when wet snow is falling. Before he left he arranged the wiper so that it would wipe at a tiny 20 degree angle.

So I was driving to work, with my head cocked to the right. My ear touching my shoulder, trying not to crash into someone looking out through my 20 degree angle, when the wiper suddenly got stuck pointing up. Great. fucking great. I drive for 45 seconds like that and I can't see shit. I give the wiper another try and it goes down. Woohoo! I can see! I wipe again, and the wiper snaps off and falls in the middle of fucking Champlain street. The ONLY street where rush hour has a significant impact. The one good thing is that traffic was stopped at this point in time. I get out of the car and pick up the stupid wiper. I try to drive for another 2 meters and I can't see anything so I turn in an empty parking lot. I try to put the wiper back on the stick, it looked so easy and fast when anyone else did it. I managed to snap off a tiny part off the wiper which I'm sure is instrumental in the wiper's staying on the stupid stick.

I shove the wiper in the backseat, get in the car, take my head in my hands and start bawling. I can't call anyone for help, as I have no cell phone because dh thought we never used it anyway so why waste money for a cell phone. I don't want to take the chance of driving blindly to a garage to find out that they had no time to slide me in an appointment. What do I do ? One of my coworkers often trades services with me. I fix his computer, he fixes minor things on my car. (Last week I couldn't find the latch to open my car hood.) So my best bet is to drive blindly to work, because I could drive there with my eyes closed. So I'm driving with my head sticking out the window, wet snowflakes getting inside my eyes and my nostrils. Everytime I put the brakes on clumps of snow fall from the roof. I spot a police car and pray that he won't notice me. He doesn't. *amen*. By the time I got to work my nerves were in a ball and my windshield was 80% covered with snow.

I spot my coworkers truck in the parking lot. Awesome. I storm into the office, go straight to his office, and his light is turned off. I storm to J's office and inquire about G. J says that he's in Saint John today for meetings. But.. but.. his truck is in the parking lot! J "His wife parked there because her work has a paying parking". GAH! So now I'm here blogging trying to forget about the fucking wiper and the fact that it's supposed to rain this afternoon. I can't possibly drive the 20 minutes home with no driver's side wiper. And I can't even wipe the passenger side without the my side's wiper stick scratching my windshield all to hell. I haven't had the patience to msg dh about it either. I'm too pissed.

Other things on my pissed list include, but are not limited to:

• I HATE our new coffee office coffee machine. It's thermal carafe isn't thermic enough! By the time late people like me get to work, the coffee is lukewarm.
• I HATE peeling stubborn oranges. I was halfway done when the orange decided to not cooperate and by the time I was done peeling it there was only pulp left in my hand. Now when I get home the 2 cats and the dog are going to be licking the orange juice off my boots.
• I HATE my stupid eyebrows. I plucked them this morning and now I realize that I look like I'm constantly raising an eyebrow at everyone. J "What ? Do I have something stuck in my teeth ? " me "No no, sorry my eyebrow is fucked up". Maybe I should spend the rest of the day raising my other eyebrow. I'd look like a surprised person all day long but at least I'd look less silly.

That's it. I'm done whining... for now.