Friday, February 24, 2006

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me ?

Did you notice my updated ticker ? Did you ? Did you ? Wahoo! I have officially lost 1 pound more than I lost on Weight Watchers last year, and I did it in half the amount of time! *Snoopy Dance*. (We won't mention the fact that I started this year at 17 heavier than last year.) I should write my own friggin weight loss book and become a millionnaire. Frig that. A billionnaire, or a zillionnaire!! What would I do if I were a zillionnaire ? First, I'd hire a professional pooper scooper. A personal chef, a personal trainer, a personal maid, a personal tailor, a personal hairdresser, a personal decorator, a personal nutritionist, a personal chauffeur, a personal shopper, and a look-alike to come to work for me. What would I personally do if I had all those personal assistants ? I would spend my days making snow angels, sipping cocktails on the beach, and I would also travel the world and take photographs.

Back to reality : It's Friday!!!! W00t! What am I going to do this weekend ? I don't know. This saving money deal really sucks. Maybe I'll scrapbook, although it's hard to concentrate at home with 2 dogs and 2 cats. We're doggysitting my parent's frog dog for the week. She jumps like a retard. She's tiny yet she's so dense, and her paws are like lead. She always lands on my toes, I need steel toe boots. I'm used to my fluffly Loki. Loki is Sooooo quiet compared to her. He just looks at her acting like a retard through his shaggy bangs, then he looks at me, horrified. He's either thinking "I wonder if I'm supposed to act this silly." or "I wonder if they fucking appreciate me now that they realize how quiet and fluffy I am". Two minutes later he's trying to fornicate with her.

So they were left uncrated all afternoon yesterday, by my brother. I wonder if she'll get pregnant. I really wonder what the puppies would look like. They are about the same height. She has really short white and caramel hair, a loong nose, a constant 'smile', and she jumps like a frog. He's a super long haired shaggy gray, tiny nosed dog, a huge fluffy baby. Maybe the puppies would have a medium nose, with mid-flop ears, and mid-curled tail, and medium fluffiness ? I hope they have puppies, it'll be my mom's problem not mine bwahaha.

I think the cats can't wait until Belle goes home. Now they are 2 vs 2. The dogs really don't seem to mind the cats furiously slapping them in the face. The cats seem to be mad at me for allowing such an uncomfortable situation for them. Hopefully Sunday my parents will be back to pick up their frog dog. She seriously jumps SO high, I'm 5'7 and she can jump as high as my shoulder without even trying. I swear. I was walking in the living room with a smoke, which I was holding in front of my mouth, and she jumped and broked it in half. I wonder if she was trying to tell me something.

So I guess I should take advantage of my stuck at home weekend to be productive. I'll set 10 goals and I'll report back on Monday and update you all on if I achieved them. You are all to take bets on which of those tasks I'll have accomplished by monday, and the winner will win a whole paragraph about them in my blog :D Aren't I generous ? Here they are :

1. Wash/dry/fold all the dirty laundry.
2. Sew all the holes in my stupid socks. (the compression socks)
3. Tweeze my eyebrows.
4. Spend time reading through my business start up information.
5. Watch Grey's Anatomy. (Oh, what a chore :P)
6. Put the new car mats dh got for christmas, in the car. Since he won't do it.
7. Scoop some Poop.
8. Wash master bedding.
9. Grocery Shopping.
10. Exercise for 30 minutes.

All bets are accepted until Monday 6am Atlantic Time. Gosh, isn't this super contest just so exiting? LOL Maybe I'm just running out of ways to motivate myself :P

P.S. If I don't know you, the paragraph I will blog about you will be fictional :). If I don't LIKE you, the paragraph about you may be nasty. *evil grin*. If no one take a guess on which chores I'll have achieved by monday. I'm going on a blogging strike, that could last anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 years.

Sincerely,
Bored Blackmailer Blogger (BBB)

5 comments:

Hobby Chef said...

I am willing to wager that you will accomplish ALL of your goals this weekend.

Courtney said...

I say you will accomplish 5 out of 10 of your goals... I think some of them may end up being somewhat overwhelming... I know that would be a lot for me to accomplish.. so if you make it through all of them, you have my respect.

Oh, and I have been watching your ticker! I am so proud of you!!! Keep it up.

Kelsie said...

I say 7 out of 10. I have faith in you to be super productive for at least one day this weekend!

Have a great one!

Heather said...

I'm with Kelsie... I'll say seven. Well, no, she might beat me up if I try to guess the same thing, so I'm willing to bet that you'll be super-ambitious and you'll actually get eight done.

Here's hoping you like me and won't write nasty things ;-)

miika said...

Ok, I'll bet you've accomplished all of the goals, or at least attempted all of them (as in, started the laundry but maybe not finished folding every last item).

And I've been watching that ticker, too. Way to go!!