Tuesday, April 18, 2006


I don't know if I blogged about this, but many of you know already so it's old news. I don't feel like paying attention to spelling or grammar. I don't feel like trying to turn everything into a joke like I always do. So here goes :

My brother and his family were having financial difficulties, so we agreed to let them move in for four months in order to give them a chance to get back on their feet financially. So in this house that was big enough for the two of us two weeks ago now reside : Stephane and me, Brian and Tammy, and her two kids Leon and Brittney. And their dog Riley. And my dog Loki. And our two cats Dixie Lee and Sativa. One bathroom. An imminent nervous breakdown. Zero Ritalin or Valium pills. I can't even think of what else to safely blog. Here are more things on my brain :

I have a seminar all day Monday. I got an email this morning saying that I have to be in Fredericton for a "Lean Management & Kaizen" training session. I learned a new word : Kaizen. Then I have another 2 day training session in Fredericton May 3-4. Then a little break until my 3 day trip to Shippagan for another committee meeting in June. Did I mention how I abhor driving?

My brother's big male dog is trying to sodomize my little male dog.

Steph and I got in a fight at the grocery store. In the deli aisle. We left the cart full and left with no food. Kind of made up in the car and drove to another grocery store (same chain), where we proceeded to buy way too much food, for way too much money.

You know you're married to a gamer when your husband has weekly commitments to meet with cyber friends to fight cyber monster in a cyber place called Molten Core.

My brother and his gang have been living here for 1 week today. They paid 0$ rent so far. I lent them 45$ so far and paid him 5$ for a drive back from the walking trail last weekend.

I have recently started having allergic reactions immediately after getting out of the shower. Big red itchy burning patches on my back appear after I dry off. It burns. I feel like a vampire taking a holy water shower. I bought all natural organic shampoo, conditionner and soap and it didn't help at all.

The cleaning lady comes every wednesday and I'm utterly ashamed of letting her see my house in it's current state. I have no energy to clean up before the maid comes.

I think I am going to have to continue wearing three layers of thick wool sweaters in the office all summer long. These people must be cold blooded. I have always been freezing there ever since I started 5 years ago, but the temperature keeps gradually going lower. They're building a friggin tolerance to cold. Last week I devised a plan to stealthily turn the thermostat up one degree while strolling to the washroom. I got busted. They immediately whined that they were melting (It was 66 degrees Fahrenheit) and turned the heat down two degrees. DOH! I swear I'm constantly frozen monday-friday 8h30-4h30 and therefore my leg hair is growing twice as fast as usual as a means to survive. My nipples are perpetually hard. I have a little foam cup with ice ready in the freezer for the day when they fall off. I've been home for 2 hours and I think I still have nose hair frost.

I'm really hurt that almost no one commented to let me know that I'm smarter than a retarded giraffe and that I am NOT the most custy thing you all have ever seen.

Having the kids here (9 and 12) made me realize that I'd rather stab my eyes continually with fondue forks than have children. Can you imagine ? Me ? Maybe this is all for a reason. I have absolutely zero baby fever at the moment. I am about to invest in earplug stock. For once, I can't wait to go back to the freezing office where no one complains that someone else gave them such a bad wedgie that their privates are raw, would I want to see ? No dirty feet and toes on my kitchen table. No one yelling and screaming during Lost that shuts up in time for the commercials. Is yelling the national kid language ? And I thought I had slight hearing problems.

My name is Nancy and I have turned into a horrible Big and Small people hater.


Shane said...

Owe come on, you are WAY smarter than a retarded giraffe!! Retarded monkey.... well that's another story.... maybe you could sell your nipples on eBay?


Scatterbrain said...

You had to pay him for a drive when he hasn't paid you a cent of rent?? I think that's all I can safely say about that...lol.

I had alreay told you that I thought you were smarter then a retarded giraffe.....

and I've been at your house once when Steph was late for one of his weekly comittments online....look out....lol.


Courtney said...

First of all I didn't comment about the MySpace thing, b/c I don't get all the hype and seeing that made me even less inclined to join up... and I felt awful for you and didn't know what to say. But you are definitely smarter than a retarded giraffe.

As for the kids - it sounds like they are not well-behaved at all. And they are probably pushing all the boundaries they can right now. But YOUR child would totally not act that way b/c I KNOW you would not tolerate it at all.

Hang in there. And NO MORE loaing $$ to the bro and his family - they are his responsibility...not yours.

Kelsie said...

Giant Hugs Nancy! I don't know that I could be as thoughtful and generous a person as you are.

Hopefully, they won't stay long or they will realize that they need to be a little more courteous to you & Steph!!